Living and Loving
Olivia Newton-John plans to celebrate her 60th birthday next year with parties on three continents. In the meantime, with a renewed vigour and zest for life, and a brand-new album, Christmas Wish, the enduring star talks to The Weekly’s Editor-In-Chief, Deborah Thomas, about her extraordinary life, revealing how she overcame depression after the disappearance of her long-time partner, how she helped her daughter, Chloe, fight anorexia, and about finding love again.
Photography By Juli Balla. Styling By Julie Russell
Deborah Thomas: It’s amazing that you are turning 60 next year you look so young and you have been so much a part of our lives through your music.
Olivia Newton-John: I’m 59 still, give me that! But, I know, I can’t believe it myself-60! I feel so grateful. Having gone through so many different experiences, I see the years as a gift, that I am finally getting there. Life is getting faster and faster, and I appreciate it more because there is less of it. These days, I tend to live more in the moment. My advice is to enjoy everything you can and be here for the now.
DT: How do you plan to celebrate this milestone?
ONJ: I would like to do something in Australia, something in America and something in Europe. I am planning it in my mind, but it’s not set in stone yet.
DT: What are some of the big lessons you have learned in life? Let’s start with success and hard work
ONJ: Success is hard work, but there is also fortune in meeting the right people and having the right people around you. Success is also in the eye of the beholder. There are many different levels of success. It is not about being on the cover of a magazine - that is not really important. I know people who I think of as being very successful they are not rich and famous, but their children are healthy and happy, they have a sustainable marriage and they have done well in life. As I get older, I realise more and more that success doesn’t keep you warm at night.
DT: So what have you learned about love?
ONJ: That love is all there is.
DT: What is important to you right now?
ONJ: My family, my friends and my health. I know if I eat right, get enough sleep and exercise, I will feel great otherwise, my body tells me to “Stop!” I am pretty in tune. I don’t need a lot of sleep. I have a lot of energy. I am very lucky I got that from my mum. The other thing I learned from my mother was to always be interested in everything. When I hear people say they are bored, I can never understand it because there is so much out there. I haven’t even scratched the surface in this lifetime. There are still so many things that, if I had time to explore them, I would.
DT: That’s what my father always said, “How can you feel depressed when you look at the sunshine and the sea?”, even if it is just for five minutes.
ONJ: That’s the thing, when I went through my really severe bout of depression, nature was my one great solace. I would take my dog for a walk and the light in the trees and the birdsong would pull me up and help me.
DT: When was that period of depression? Was it during your battle with breast cancer?
ONJ: There was a time in the past couple of years, after Patrick disappeared [Patrick McDermott, 48, Olivia’s partner of nine years, went missing on a fishing trip in the US on July 1, 2005], when I was very depressed. I wasn’t depressed when I went through breast cancer - I was too busy trying to be positive. I just had to get through it. I mean, I had my moments, I can’t lie. In the first week or two, when you are finding out what it is and how bad it is, that is pretty scary.
DT: And you had a seven-year-old daughter…
ONJ: You have to fight, especially when you have kids. I think your attitude determines an outcome. When you have breast cancer, you have to say, now it is time to take care of me. When I was first diagnosed, my friend, Nancy, who had been through a terrible lot losing her daughter and then her brother, said to me, “How you are is going to determine how everybody around you reacts to your illness”. I didn’t want to hear about the sickness all the time. I tell women now, have your husband or a girlfriend tell people what is going on, so you don’t have to keep repeating it and going into the illness you can just focus on getting well.
DT: I understand that you draw a lot of energy and joy from the way the audience responds when you perform.
ONJ: Over the past eight years, I have enjoyed it more because I’ve realised it’s not going to last forever and I am more relaxed about being on stage. I used to be really nervous and I couldn’t enjoy myself because I was terrified of making a mistake. I used to write the lyrics on my hands… it was terrible. Then I realised we all make mistakes and that it’s okay. There was a moment once where I forgot the words of a song and the audience loved it. They clapped and they laughed, and they joined in and I thought, ‘I didn’t die, they didn’t leave’… and I realised you don’t always have to be perfect.
DT: You have always been a spiritual person. Is it true you have turned to a mystic?
ONJ: [Laughing] Oh, no, she’s not exactly a mystic. She’s Caroline Myss, the author of many books, including a wonderful one called Anatomy of the Spirit, which is fascinating and helped inspire my new healing CD, Grace and Gratitude, which I’m very proud of. It was produced in Canada by Amy Sky, a very good friend and a wonderful singer/songwriter from Toronto. She is a star in her own country.
I did a breast cancer CD called Stronger than Before and Amy wrote this wonderful song called The Serenity Prayer, which is taken from The Twelve Steps you use for Alcoholics Anonymous. After we finished recording it, I said, “You know, I would like to do a whole album like this a healing album.” This seems to be where my life is going, into the healing area, with the hospital in Melbourne, with Gaia [Olivia’s health retreat in the Byron Bay, NSW, hinterland). The title track is Grace and Gratitude and it is all about when you and I really believe this - say thanks to a friend for being there, for a beautiful day. a delicious meal, to God or to Buddha, whatever it is you believe in or feel good about. It gives you a feeling of wellbeing.
DT: Are you a religious person?
ONJ: No, I am not religious. I appreciate and have respect for all belief systems. Buddha, Allah, Christ they are all wonderful teachers and I believe they all have something wonderful to pass on to the world. I take a little bit from each and make my own beliefs. I have statues of Buddha in my house, I have crosses, too… When I was younger, I was looking for one belief system to cling onto, but then I realised you don’t have to do that, as long as you find something that gives you peace.
DT: How have you handled setbacks and misfortunes? Where do you find your strength?
ONJ: Well, I have had my down times and I am not embarrassed to say that when I was at my worst I took antidepressants, because I think maybe people need to hear that. If you are in a dark place, where you can’t pull yourself out, you may need to ask for help. My doctor told me that if you are depressed for too long it adversely affects your immune system. We are not just a physical body, we are a body, a heart and a spirit. For six months, I went on antidepressants and it got me out of the hole. Meanwhile, I was having counselling and working through my issues and, finally, after six months of medication, I woke up one day and said, “I don’t need this any more, I am going to stop”. And I weaned myself off them.
DT: You got your strength back.
ONJ: Well, I just wanted to test how strong I was. It was difficult. There were a few days where I thought, “Oh, I don’t know if I can do this”, and then I had this little voice in my head that is my guide and it said, “You can do it”, and I woke up and said, “Yes I can”, and I stuck to it, and I am fine now. It’s an inner strength that I found.
DT: I agree, it’s something that we should talk about.
ONJ: Yes and not to be embarrassed, because people are embarrassed to be depressed or they get embarrassed about having to ask for help. The reason I feel passionate about this is because a young man who worked for me, a tour bus driver, a lovely, lovely, sweet man, committed suicide recently. He was gay and didn’t feel that he could tell anyone. We talked and I was a support for him, but in the end he couldn’t handle it. If he had been brave enough to ask for [professional] help, maybe he could have got through it. Seeing now what can happen to people when they can’t express themselves and be who they are makes it so important to encourage them to get help because it can save a life.
DT: It is interesting to know that you feel so strongly about speaking out about issues that are not often discussed. You spoke recently about eating disorders in young women, something your daughter, Chloe, has gone through. What advice would you give other mothers?
ONJ: I would like to preface this by saying that Chloe is very healthy now. When she did that interview, she did it because she was on top of it, but somehow, when it got to Australia, it appeared that she was still very sick and she isn’t. She is really good and the wonderful thing that has come out of all this for Chloe is that some of these young girls are emailing her My Space [website] and she is talking to them about their problems and feels very empowered by it. I am very proud of her, she has come a long way.<br<
One thing I have learned from living through this with her and I don’t want to speak for her because she is 21 years old now is that it is not about eating. That is the manifestation of the real issue. Eating is one thing that people can control when they feel their life is out of control. They control what goes into their body. It is a horrible thing to go through, a very difficult thing. I always tell people to get the best help you can and as far as dealing with the issues, they will only be ready when they decide they are ready.
DT: What is the pressure that we are putting on our children?
ONJ: Well, look at the planet… I have to think positively that we can turn things around. I really believe that if our intentions are positive and strong, we can change things for the better and that our children are our hope.
DT: You are passionate about conservation. Are you actively involved in any particular project?
ONJ: Yes. I’ve supported Planet Ark since it started about a decade ago. I’ve planted 10,000 trees on my own property and, at Gaia, each guest plants a tree, so we have planted a mini forest there already. Different conservation groups ask me to support them and I do. I got pretty involved with Planet Ark in Tasmania. It’s really terrible what they are doing down there with the woodchips… very disturbing. I have said this before and I will say it again: Australia should be declared a national park. They should just stop right now before they ruin it.
DT: Changing the subject, I saw you with a very nice-looking man. Have you found a new partner in life?
ONJ: Yes, I am very fortunate. I have found a lovely man, John Easterling, who is the founder of Amazon Herb Company, which imports herbs from the Amazon rainforest. We have known each other for 15 years. He was a friend first and we have just recently discovered each other in a romantic way. He is a lovely, lovely guy.
DT: Where do you call home these days Malibu? Byron Bay?
ONJ: Well, it is difficult because I love both. America has been really good to me and I have a great, easy, comfortable life there, though it’s kind of busy and much more of a work mode. When I come back to Australia, I take a deep sigh, I am home, even if I am only here for a week. I feel revitalised… this is my “heart home”. People don’t call me so often when I come out here, so I can get away and have a quiet time. I love my farm and I love Gaia, that whole thing. It is my haven.
DT: Is your farm part of Gaia?
ONJ: No, it is 20 minutes away, but that is how we found Gaia. Gregg [Cave, her business partner] came up with me to Byron when Mum died. We were driving to the farm with some of her belongings and her ashes, when we saw a sign that said, “Sanctuary For Sale”, so we drove up the hill and onto this beautiful piece of land. It was as if my mother had put this in our path and it just felt like the right thing to do.
Gregg gave up his art business in Sydney, moved up there into one of the cabins and we designed it together. It was a meant-to-be thing. We were joined by two friends, Warwick Evans, former managing director of the Macquarie Bank’s stockbroking subsidiary, and Ruth Kalnin, a close friend of Gregg’s.
DT: When was this?
ONJ: Two-and-a-half years ago now, but it has just turned into this amazing place. I call it “Barefoot Armani” because it is classy but comfortable and we keep upgrading it with beautiful treatments and experiences. We have a wonderful chef, our own organic garden, our own cookbook, Grace, the Gaia Cookbook. Anyway, it is a haven.
DT: What inspired you to open a health and fitness spa?
ONJ: It kind of happened. We came upon the place and Gregg and I dreamed about it that night, and dreamed it into existence. I think you can dream things into being. People always say they feel a very relaxing, healing energy there, and the view is amazing it looks like Tuscany.
DT: Can you outline your perfect day at Gaia, especially if you need to de-stress and be pampered?
ONJ: A perfect day for me starts with yoga at 7.30am and then my favourite meal, breakfast. I go for gluten-free cereals and breads, and homemade jams and poached organic fruit, and then the chef does a cooked breakfast. Usually, I have some eggs and spinach, and delicious coffee. After breakfast, I go to the beach for a walk with Gregg and Gio, my other boy. He is an Italian hunting dog called a Lagotto Romagnolo and he is as cute as the dickens.
After that, I might have a foot massage - I love my feet to be massaged then, a delicious lunch at Gaia and down to Bangalow for a little shopping. Back at Gaia, I might have a hot-rocks treatment or one of the wonderful steam polishes or a healing facial with Nikki. We use all-Australian organic products and have over 35 healers and therapists at Gaia. In the late afternoon, I might take a hike around one of the walking trails on the property and, after that, take a shower, go up and have a cocktail or a glass of wine and meet the guests. Yes, that would be my perfect day.
DT: How do you feel after spending time at Gaia?
ONJ: Totally relaxed and happy, physically and mentally fit. I learned a technique from Grace Gawler [co-founder of the cancer support organisation, the Gawler Foundation], which helps me take little moments in the day for myself. Even if it’s just sitting in your car before you turn on the engine, take 10 seconds, take a breath and centre yourself. It’s like filling up a bank of energy and it works.
"I believe a big part of healing is the need to be supported in your mental and spiritual health, not just your body."
DT: Tell us a little about the Olivia Newton-John Wellness Centre?
ONJ: It’s a huge project for me. About four-and-a-half years ago, the Austin Hospital, one of the most well-respected hospitals in Melbourne, asked me to put my name to a new cancer centre because they needed a new one and thought maybe I could draw attention to their cause. I felt really weird about having my name on it, but my mum said, “Darling, if it is going to help people, I think you should do it”.
I went back to the hospital and I said, “I would love to help you, but in order to do this, I would love there to be a wellness centre within the cancer centre, because I believe a big part of healing is the need to be supported in your mental and spiritual health, not just your body.” They embraced it and now it has become a major part of the centre’s philosophy.
DT: Has it opened yet?
ONJ: No, it is not built yet. We are still raising money and need another $30million. We are having our first fundraiser in America in November and a big fundraising event next year.
DT: Can you tell us a little bit about it?
ONJ: I am going to do a fundraising walk on the Great Wall of China for three weeks leading up to the Beijing Olympics. I’ll be walking with ex-Olympians, current Chinese Olympians and famous people from all walks of life. I am looking for sponsors. I am very excited. I just want to be alive to see the centre built.
DT: Olivia, you are an absolute inspiration to many, many, women. What’s the one piece of advice that you swear by?
ONJ: I take each day as it comes. It’s all about enjoying the moment. When you are with the kids, be with them, when you are at work, enjoy that time, when you are with your husband, be with your husband, so that everyone feels they are getting all of you. Even if it is just a concentrated five minutes, it is better than a scattered hour where you are not really present. My advice is to enjoy everything you can and be here for the now.
Photo captions:
Grabbing life with both hands, Olivia Newton-John, 59, with her dog Gio, breathes in the beauty of the Gaia Retreat and Spa in Byron Bay, NSW, which she helped establish.
Olivia wears a Witchery top, Bloch pants and Bensimon sneakers
During her depression, Olivia says that nature was her “one great solace”. She would walk Gio, a Lagotto Romagnolo hunting dog, and the sights and sounds of the bush would comfort her.
Olivia wears a Ralph Lauren Black Label jacket, Witchery top and Ralph Lauren jeans.
Left: Kukura House, the central living and communal area at the Gaia Retreat and Spa, modelled on a Samoan-style longhouse.
Below: Olivia collecting greens from Gaia’s abundant organic garden with the help of the head chef, Todd Cameron.